Remove All Doubt
Thursday, September 9
Art Imitating Life Imitating Alex P. Keaton
Because I live here in Collegeville, I'm becoming more knowledgeable about the fashion trends of America's youth. For example, turning your polo collar up, a la Alex P. Keaton, is coming back, and is apparently known as "popping your collar."

A friend of mine sent me this, explaining the trend, which is apparently from the Georgetown Lampoon.

"Wearing Your Collar Down is for Poor People"

by Patrick Bateman

When my ancestors came over to this great country 400 years ago, they had a vision for a utopia, free from minorities, liberals, poor people, homosexuals, and immigrants. There are few today who share such lofty ideals, but we're easy to find: Pastel polo shirts, loafers without socks, tucked-in shirts, but most importantly, collars up.

Call me a douchebag. Call me an arrogant little cocksucking dickhead. Beat the shit out of me if I'm not with fifteen of my B-frat friends (unlikely). But just know this: I interned at Smith Barney this summer. Where did you work? A Blockbuster? That's right you insignificant sack of dogshit; I'm going to be your boss. So take your t-shirt wearing, financial aid, blue-collar ass over to Blockbuster and get me a copy of Old School. Do you even own a tuxedo?

Look at my girlfriend. You think she'd go for someone who didn't have his collar up? I don't think so. I remember the night I met her. I bought her so many $9 drinks she couldn't even walk. I drove her home in my BMW 328ci, but not before I took a few "liberties" with her. The next morning I took her to brunch and went to the mall, where I bought her some blouses. You assholes don't know the first thing about being a gentleman. You probably don't even know how to sail.

When I get out of business school, I'm going to be making $120,000 a year. Add that to my trust fund, and I can buy a country club membership, a ski house, and still have enough money to go barhopping around the city in my designer clothes and shit-eating grin. Maybe I'll offer you a hundred bucks to flip my collar up for me. I earned it you middle-class fuck up. I bet you went to public school.

You're so predictable. I bet I can guess your political party just by looking at you. My cronies and I range from elitist northern liberals to heartless conservative bastards. I've wasted enough time with you. Get some rich parents, an internship, and a pink polo with the collar up, and then maybe I'll let you hang out with me.

I laughed at this, especially the claim that "You probably don't even know how to sail," 'cause it's a joke. But, from the art imitates life files came this, apparently from a real student at the University of Maryland. I'm pretty sure he would not have been my friend in college:

[T]here is some ettiqute to popping your collar. A popped collar is a sign of social and financial elite according to contacts at various eastern private universities. So unless you qualify, please don't do it. Popping your AF, AE, Gap or whatever less then 100 dollar polo is certainly not acceptable. The only sub-100 range polo that may be popped without getting dirty looks from collar popping aficionados is Lacoste becase they are one of the founding polos where popping is expected.

Browsed across your page while trying to find pictures of people in popped collars to post on my own site. Not a fan of the collars, enjoyed your blog.
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