Dissertations whose value is "difficult to assess"
A few nights ago, I met a philosophy grad school applicant who shared with us his idea for a magnus opus on "Equality." His point is that personal equality and mathematical equality are identical concepts because, "You know, we say 2+1=3, but there are different symbols on either side of the equal sign. One side even has a symbol that's not a number. See what I mean?" He's just sure this deserves a book length treatment. How, how, I ask you, dear reader, how can you appropriately respond to that?

But, just when I thought that was something special, I saw this dissertation topic in literature, which is pretty hard to beat for, how shall we say, value that is difficult to assess:

I'm not doing that. I'm doing Baseball. Bats are obvious phallic symbols. The balls clearly represent sperm, which comes from the 'balls' of men. The gloves are symbolic vaginas, which accept and then reject the sperm. The gloves are worn on the hands, indicating masturbation fantasies. It's all very male, and has to do with discourses initiated in an attempt to exclude the feminine other by appropriating the methods and means of reproductive symbolism.

I am stunned into submission. Baseball is clearly about the oppression of women.
- posted by Tom Sawyer @ 1:49 PM