Remove All Doubt
Wednesday, September 29
 
Dissertations whose value is "difficult to assess"
A few nights ago, I met a philosophy grad school applicant who shared with us his idea for a magnus opus on "Equality." His point is that personal equality and mathematical equality are identical concepts because, "You know, we say 2+1=3, but there are different symbols on either side of the equal sign. One side even has a symbol that's not a number. See what I mean?" He's just sure this deserves a book length treatment. How, how, I ask you, dear reader, how can you appropriately respond to that?

But, just when I thought that was something special, I saw this dissertation topic in literature, which is pretty hard to beat for, how shall we say, value that is difficult to assess:
I'm not doing that. I'm doing Baseball. Bats are obvious phallic symbols. The balls clearly represent sperm, which comes from the 'balls' of men. The gloves are symbolic vaginas, which accept and then reject the sperm. The gloves are worn on the hands, indicating masturbation fantasies. It's all very male, and has to do with discourses initiated in an attempt to exclude the feminine other by appropriating the methods and means of reproductive symbolism.
I am stunned into submission. Baseball is clearly about the oppression of women.
Wednesday, September 22
 
I love you, Dolly

Little AER, now 10 weeks old, absolutely loves her Dolly Doodlebugs Mobile - it makes her smile every time. So Mrs. MSR and I took one of the doodlebugs with us on our recent plane trip, so she could enjoy it in the airport. She did - but her moron father lost it while toting the Baby Bjorn, diaper bag, and car seat (not to mention AER herself). I contacted Dolly to try to buy a new bug - and they graciously offered to send me one for free. Woo hoo! Much love to Dolly! They have made a customer for life.
Friday, September 17
 
"So, what's like to be back in school?"
I returned to my old, pre-academic, job today to finish off a few things. Great fun. Great to see everyone and great to remember how much more I like what I'm doing now than what I used to do. But I got a lot of questions like, "How's it feel to be back in school," in a sort of "Wow, I remember how fun undergrad was - it must be great to go back" kind of way. Thing is, though, life as a post-MA PhD student, at least for me, has a lot more in common with having a job than with undergrad, and that's hard to get across.

Sure, it's an incredibly intellectually stimulating job, with a very flexible schedule; I don't have to wear a suit, and I don't have a lot of administrative stuff like professors do. These are all excellent things. But they make my time at school a good job, not an unfortunate interruption from my partying, like undergrad was. Maybe the best way to think about that is that half of my entering class will be gone next year. Some because they find other things to do, but most because they are shown the door, either directly or indirectly (by not being offered funding.) For all of us, our career, even whether or not we have one in this field, is dependent on what our professors think of us - funding and eventual job recommendations come from that. Our writing will have to show the department and those in our field that we're "promising." To do that we have to figure out what important people in our respective fields think is important, and that's a lot of work. It's like learning enough about tax law that you can tell a 20 year tax partner something he didn't know and but thinks is important. In fact, in our need to become expert over a complex and esoteric area and in our dependence on our professors, we have more in common with law firm associates than we do undergrads.

So sure, it's great to be back reading interesting stuff and talking to interesting people about it. It's nice to work out at 10:30 in the morning if I want. But grad school is not undergrad. And those in my class who think it is will not, I suspect, be back next year.

UPDATE: Apparently this problem does not go away once you become a professor.

Wednesday, September 15
 
It's Not An Instalanche, But Still . . .
Wow. Thanks to the Triumvirate (that's right, it's a proper noun now - apparently MSR encouraged me to copyright the wrong term) we've been hit by what is, for us, a deluge (a Triumvalanche?) of more than 140 visitors since BitchPhD's post at noon today.

It's amazing how excited one can get about a bunch of strangers reading your random musings after being referred (I'll not call it a recommendation) by another stranger. It's equally amazing how embarrassed one can get when one realizes he misspelled "triumvirate." Doh!



 
Equal time, no matter what

The Post this morning contains an amusing little story about John kerry's mispronounciation of the Green Bay Packers' stadium as "Lambert Field," rather than Lambeau Field. This could be a big deal, according to the Post, because Wisconsin (1) is a closely-fought battleground state and (2) really, really loves the Packers. The Bush campaign has been all over it, arguing that it shows Kerry is out of step with the average person, and the Post suggests it could be right:
So, could a candidate lose the state by tripping over the name of a stadium? Probably not, though Al Gore won Wisconsin by only a few thousand votes in 2000 and small shifts can make a big difference in this battleground state this year, state political observers say. "It sort of plays into the perception, right or wrong, that people think John Kerry is an opportunist who when he is not out windsurfing comes in to try to be a regular guy," said Ken Goldstein, a professor at the University of Wisconsin. The latest polls show Kerry down eight points; he was tied in most polls before the gaffe.

So far, all well and good. But the Post throws this in: "Kerry's slip is rookie stuff compared with Bush's verbal blunders, including his famous creation of the word '[misunderestimated.'" But this misses the point entirely. Kerry might be hurt by "Lambert" because it suggests he just doesn’t know the name of the place, feeding his patrician image. Bush might be hiurt by comments like "misunderestimated" because it shows (arguably) that he is dumb or incoherent or something, but not that he is out of touch and patrician. If anything, it is the opposite. So the Post is comparing apples and oranges here, or as a friend of mine likes to say, apples and lawnmowers.

I am not sure if this was driven by some sense of a need for equal time or what, although this sort of consistency has hardly been a feature of the Post's reporting on Bush. On the other hand, maybe they just can't help themselves. Either way, it's more than a bit dodgy, in my humble opinion.
 
Tom, move quickly

I once recommended that Jonathan get a copyright on the title "Vietnam to Iraq: Reaping the Whirlwind of Imperial Hubris," which he used in a blog-post ages ago. I now want to make a similar recommendation to Tom, and in fact to preorder a signed copy of his forthcoming classic, "The Triumph of Kindness Over Truth."
 
What Did Your Senior Photo Look Like?
This site is pretty darn funny, and this one is my favorite. Sweet, indeed. But it also makes me cringe as I try to remember what my senior photo was. Apparently, I've blocked out the memory to protect the guilty. Thank goodness.

From profgrrrl, my favorite of the single (or sort of single) venting female professor triumvirate, although all are quite interesting, especially for an aspiring academic. (Yes, interesting even beyond the sex posts).



Tuesday, September 14
 
Arrgghhh, the Academy, Part I
Ok, so I LOVE my new job. Like, I love it a lot: I get paid to read interesting books, think interesting thoughts about those books, and then talk to interesting people about them. There are, however, some things that I expect are going to drive me pretty crazy, including the following, so I think this is the first installment in a long series:

Recently a classmate asked a professor what technique you can use to get around teaching undergrads the importance of Puritan theology to early American culture. This question is important, he says, because you don't want to offend students by appearing to endorse religion. Now let me, as they say, unpack this statement, just in case it didn't jump out and grab you by the throat and yell "CRAZY AS A MOONBAT ON ACID" like it did to me.

He's assuming (1) puritan theology IS important to early American culture, and (2) you want to minimize its importance because it may clash with the ideology of the STUDENTS. This is a step beyond letting your own ideology determine what you teach. He's suggesting you reinforce the prejudices of the students, even when you and the majority of the experts think they're wrong. It's PC gone amok - the triumph of kindness over truth - and an abdication of the responsibility of a teacher, whether you think they should teach the truth, or challenge the minds of their students. It's arguably a useful approach for kindergarten, and probably not even there, but certainly not for college. Now, in fairness, his suggestion was quickly rejected by the professor (although not as forcefully as I would have liked), but it remains a frightening indicator, especially frightening because the guy who said it appears to be quite thoughtful and not at all a crazy moonbat leftist.

Now, all that's disturbing enough, but the little voice in the back of my mind keeps asking me an even more disturbing question: what are the chances that this guy would be as worried about offending students if the ideology being discussed as important wasn't puritanism, but was instead socialism?

I can't answer that, but I do have a guess.

 
Now I get it

One question the Rathergate scandal has had me asking is, How could Dan Rather screw something up so badly? The answer has been made clear: Hillary Clinton made him do it.

Or I suppose he could just be a lazy partisan hack. Either way is, you know, OK with me.
Monday, September 13
 
Well, it looks like its basketball season already
Damn.

 
Scrappleface wins again

The developments on the Rathergate story are moving so quickly I won’t attempt to keep up. But I do think Scrappleface, as it often does, takes the cake.

1972 Email Casts Doubt on Bush Guard Service: According to Col. Killian's email, the young Bush wanted to go to Alabama to work as webmaster for a Republican candidate's website. Mr. Rather said the authenticity of the 32-year-old email has been confirmed by several Nigerian officials who specialize in electronic funds transfer by email.

Hee hee hee.
Thursday, September 9
 
Art Imitating Life Imitating Alex P. Keaton
Because I live here in Collegeville, I'm becoming more knowledgeable about the fashion trends of America's youth. For example, turning your polo collar up, a la Alex P. Keaton, is coming back, and is apparently known as "popping your collar."

A friend of mine sent me this, explaining the trend, which is apparently from the Georgetown Lampoon.

"Wearing Your Collar Down is for Poor People"

by Patrick Bateman

When my ancestors came over to this great country 400 years ago, they had a vision for a utopia, free from minorities, liberals, poor people, homosexuals, and immigrants. There are few today who share such lofty ideals, but we're easy to find: Pastel polo shirts, loafers without socks, tucked-in shirts, but most importantly, collars up.

Call me a douchebag. Call me an arrogant little cocksucking dickhead. Beat the shit out of me if I'm not with fifteen of my B-frat friends (unlikely). But just know this: I interned at Smith Barney this summer. Where did you work? A Blockbuster? That's right you insignificant sack of dogshit; I'm going to be your boss. So take your t-shirt wearing, financial aid, blue-collar ass over to Blockbuster and get me a copy of Old School. Do you even own a tuxedo?

Look at my girlfriend. You think she'd go for someone who didn't have his collar up? I don't think so. I remember the night I met her. I bought her so many $9 drinks she couldn't even walk. I drove her home in my BMW 328ci, but not before I took a few "liberties" with her. The next morning I took her to brunch and went to the mall, where I bought her some blouses. You assholes don't know the first thing about being a gentleman. You probably don't even know how to sail.

When I get out of business school, I'm going to be making $120,000 a year. Add that to my trust fund, and I can buy a country club membership, a ski house, and still have enough money to go barhopping around the city in my designer clothes and shit-eating grin. Maybe I'll offer you a hundred bucks to flip my collar up for me. I earned it you middle-class fuck up. I bet you went to public school.

You're so predictable. I bet I can guess your political party just by looking at you. My cronies and I range from elitist northern liberals to heartless conservative bastards. I've wasted enough time with you. Get some rich parents, an internship, and a pink polo with the collar up, and then maybe I'll let you hang out with me.

I laughed at this, especially the claim that "You probably don't even know how to sail," 'cause it's a joke. But, from the art imitates life files came this, apparently from a real student at the University of Maryland. I'm pretty sure he would not have been my friend in college:

[T]here is some ettiqute to popping your collar. A popped collar is a sign of social and financial elite according to contacts at various eastern private universities. So unless you qualify, please don't do it. Popping your AF, AE, Gap or whatever less then 100 dollar polo is certainly not acceptable. The only sub-100 range polo that may be popped without getting dirty looks from collar popping aficionados is Lacoste becase they are one of the founding polos where popping is expected.



Wednesday, September 8
 
The unspeakable joy of Moose Drool

So, Mrs. MSR, little AER and I are on our yearly vacation here and here (actually it is AER's first trip, and I am proud to say she is a good little traveler). We've been seeing friends and family, playing a lot of golf, (72 holes in five days!) drinking good beers I can't get in DC (mmm . . . Moose Drool), and generally kicking back. Good times.

What I have not been doing is reading the Post each morning, checking in with Instapundit and Andrew Sullivan, and generally being fixated on politics and world affairs. Sure, we've had some good discussions with friends, especially about the embarassing ads being run by North Dakota's Republican Senate candidate Mike Liffrig (good luck against Dorgan, Mikey), but the amount of political stuff overall has been very low.

In some ways, it's a real relief.

In other ways, I really miss it.

I am not sure how to feel about that. But I'll back soon, so it probably does not matter much. So, one more round of golf, a little more visiting, and then a plane ride . . . and back to it. See you then.

 
Collegeville
Here in Collegeville, the small town in the America region of the United States where I'm working towards my graduate degree, polling numbers are apparently quite different from the national numbers. The President is still barely ahead. But he's barely ahead of Nader: In the bar down the street, the tally on the chalkboard was Kerry with 37 votes, Bush with 6, and Nader with 5.

That's right. One vote ahead of Nader.

Who said this is a conservative town?


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